EyoMnga 2025 – Bruno Loyiso
Ukhe wazibuza ukuba kutheni abantu ababini abathandanayo ngokunzulu besakwazi ukuzilimaza nje ngokulula? Umtsalane une ndlela yokutyhila ubuhle bethu kunye nobuthathaka bethu. Uletha uvuyo, ubuhlobo, nentuthuzelo, kodwa ukhupha kwakhona ukubhena, uloyiko, ukunganyamezeli, kunye neendawo zobomi bethu ezisafuna uchukumiso oluphilisayo lukaThixo. Kwaye ngenxa yokuba umtsalane usondele, usondele kakhulu, ufuna into elula kodwa enzima kakhulu: ukuthobeka.
IBhayibhile isinika isikhokelo esicacileyo:
“Hlalani nizithobile, nimnene. Zibekeleni kancinci, ninyamezelane ngenxa yothando. Yizani nithe zava, nilwele ukugcina umanyano oluvela kuMoya, nidibene ngoxolo.” (Ef. 4:2–3, NLT)
Umtsalane ufuna ukuba sikhethe olu thobeko, olu nyamezelo, olu nzame mihla le. Awuzimeli ngowawo. Uyakhula ngezinto esizikhethayo, ngamanye amaxesha ezincinci, ezifundwa zibuye zenziwe kwakhona.
Ukuthobeka: Isiseko Somtsalane Oqinileyo
Uphando lukaShaunti Feldhahn lubonisa ukuba izibini ezonwabileyo zihlala nenkolelo elula kodwa enamandla: iqabane lam likum, hayi ngokuchasene nam. Bayathanda ukucinga okuhle ngomnye. Bamnceda omnye mathuba amaninzi.
Umhlobo wam uDr Louis Pretorius uhlala esithi: “Iqabane lakho asililo utshaba. Utshaba lulutshaba.”
Le nyaniso iyaguqula yonke into. Xa siyeka ukulwa nomnye kwaye siqale ukulwa ngomnye, ukuthobeka kuba sisango lesiqalekiso.
Uzinakalo luthi, “Ndilungile.”
Ukuthobeka kubuza, “Kwenzeka ntoni kuthi, kwaye sinokuhamba njani ngale nto kunye?”
Umtsalane Uufuna Ukuzama — Ngokwenene
Amagama kaPawulos athi “zenzeni konke eninako” ayinzima. Athetha umsebenzi ongapheliyo, wokuzimisela yonke imihla.
UFeldhahn ufumanise ukuba izibini ezonwabileyo ziyakwazi “ukulawula iimvakalelo zazo.” Ziyafumana ukwenzakala, ukudana, nokuqondana gwenxa njengabo bonke abanye, kodwa endaweni yokuvumela iimvakalelo zigqibe indlela yokuphendula, zikhetha amanyathelo ahlakaniphile endaweni yeempendulo ezixhomekeke kwimizwa.
Olunye uphando olumangalisayo kukuba ezi zibini ngamanye amaxesha zilala zisacinga — hayi ngenxa yobukrakra okanye ukohlwaya, kodwa kuba zifunde ukuba ukusombulula ingxabano ebusuku xa udiniwe akuncedi. Endaweni yoko, benza into engcono: bayavuma ukuba kukho ukungavisisani, banike isibonakaliso esincinci sothando, baze bavumelane ukuba baya kuqhubeka nengxoxo ngengqondo ecocekileyo ngomso.
Uninzi lwethu lukhulele kwimfundiso ethi “musa ukulalisa ilanga ngomsindo wakho.” Kodwa ezi zibini zisibonisa ukuba umba awusekho ekulala ngomsindo omnye komnye — koko kukuthi ungayi kulala ngothando oluvalekileyo. Ukuphumla xa ukhathele kunokukhusela umtsalane.
Isibonakaliso esincinci — uchukumiso, ilizwi elithambileyo, okanye ukubamba okuhle
“Asikalunganga, kodwa siya kulunga. Ndisakhona apha.”
— iba yibhulorho evula iintliziyo.
Umtsalane Ufuna Uluntu
IBhayibhile ithi masithwale imithwalo yomnye komnye (Gal. 6:2). Umtsalane ngomnye wemithwalo esingakwazi ukuyithwala sodwa. Izibini ezihlakaniphile zifuna uncedo kwangethuba: kwiimfundisi, abaqeqeshi, abahlohli, kunye nabakhokeli abadala. Ukufuna uncedo asibuthathaka, kukukhalipha nokuzinikela.
Umzuzu Wobuqu
Xa mna nomfazi wam sijamelene nengxabano, ndihlala ndizirhoxisa kuba ndidinga ixesha lokucinga. Kum, oku sisixhobo sokucubungula. Kodwa kuye, kunokuziva njengokugxothwa okanye isohlwayo. Ngexesha, ndifunde ukuba ukuzirhoxisa ngaphandle konxibelelwano konakalisa ukuthembana, kodwa ukuzirhoxisa kunye nesibonakaliso sothando kuyakugcinisa.
Ngoku ndiyazama ukusho: “Ndiyakuthanda. Ndidinga umzuzwana wokucinga, kodwa silungile, kwaye siza kulungisa le nto.”
Sisisenzo esincinci, kodwa siyatshintsha yonke into. Sigcina unxibelelwano luvulekile, sinike indawo yokucaca.
Umngeni Wobuqu
Singazilungisa njani imitshato yethu ukuze ibonakalise uKristu?
Ngokukhetha ukuthobeka, sicinge okuhle ngomnye, senze umzamo wokuhlala sidibene, sifune uncedo xa sifuna. Umtsalane awubanjwa ngokugqibelele, kodwa ngobabalo.
Nanku umbuzo weveki:
Yeyiphi inyathelo lokuthobeka, ukuxolelana, okanye ukufuna uncedo uThixo andimema ukuba ndithathe ngalo iqabane lam?
Makathathe ingcambu uthando lwaKhe kuwe, luvele ngendlela ophila ngayo imihla ngemihla.
Izalathiso
Feldhahn, Shaunti. 2013. The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. Multnomah Books, Colorado Springs, CO.
The Holy Bible. New Living Translation. 1996–2015. Tyndale House Foundation. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-Living-Translation-NLT-Bible. Accessed 24 November 2025.